Home networking odyssey: The great modem swap

By Mike Azzara

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Chapter 2

Early July: I made some attempts at video chat using iChat on the iMac, but my home network crashed each time and I had to hit the Linksys router's reset button to reconnect. I assumed I had a bad router that couldn't handle the modern video application, so I spent the first week or two of July coming to terms with my fear of changing the network while I figured out which router to buy. Then Strom suggested my old cable modem was probably the culprit, and I should start by changing it. Unfortunately, that would require two of the most painful types of activities I've ever endured in my near half-century of life experience: making a change (any change!) to my home network and interacting with my cable company. 

Late July: After another week or two screwing up my courage, I called my cable company's customer service line and went through the usual automated attendant idiocy before talking to a live person who assured me that, yes, there was a newer cable modem than the one I had: the Motorola SBV-5120, which would be much faster and more reliable than my original SBV-4200. And, gosh, it would also make me eligible for additional services that I could pay more money for! All I had to do was bring my old modem to the nearest store and swap it for a new one. For no charge. (Note: I was cynical then, but I've since decided to buy some additional services after all—like a high-speed "boost" for apps like Second Life, and a second phone line to replace my far-more-expensive Verizon land line.)

Aug. 9: I unplugged the four lines connecting the SBV-4200 (VoIP phone, Ethernet to my router, cable in, power) and trucked my old modem on over to my cable company's store. Sure enough, the guy behind the counter handed me a free SBV-5120. I brought the new modem home, plugged everything back into it in the basement, went upstairs and turned on the computer.

I had no idea what to expect when I fired up my computer and launched my browser;  that's when the fear of network changes gripped me. But I was pleasantly surprised, if not impressed, with the result.  Instead of going to Google (my home page), I was brought to my cable company's Optimum Online page with a headline that said, "Please Register your Modem." The page wanted me to use the installation CD that came in the box, but since I didn't feel like getting up from my desk to retrieve it, I clicked in the place for people who didn't have one. That brought me to a page where I filled in my account number, my last name, and the phone number associated with my account.

That, in turn, brought me to a page that said, "Please choose which service(s) you want to install now and click ‘yes' to proceed." It offered me just the one choice: "Swap existing modem?" So I clicked yes. The next page listed the MAC address of the new modem and asked me to "choose from the list below" which old modem MAC address I was swapping out. Again, I had just one choice, so I didn't need to worry about what the actual MAC address was. I clicked "Swap modem." The next page asked me to please wait while it registered the modem. It chugged away for about 90 seconds before a button appeared labeled "Proceed."

I was congratulated on the next page, which suggested I check for dial tone and then call a friend or family member. I did; two out of my three triplets picked up the phone in other rooms of the house and chuckled when they realized it was Dad calling from the home office.
At this point it occurred to me that none of those steps had really been necessary -- the cable company's system could have figured out what to do on its own without asking me any questions (for which there was only one answer), making the process fully automatic. On the other hand, the system worked, it was fast and simple, and the answers were obvious.

I was done in about three minutes, most of which were spent doing something else while my cable provider chugged away on the swap issue. Compared with any previous change I've ever made to the "plumbing" of my home network, this was like, well, being invited up to Angelina Jolie's room after the first date.