Staying in touch with your college kid

By Dina Gerdeman

Print Story | Email Story
Add to My Digital Landing

Related Articles

• Classrooms Get a Tech Edge
• Apple's Sweet Deal: Discounted Macs, Free iPods
• Twitter tackles the story of your life in 140 characters
• Amazon's Kindle ignites reader interest
• FAQ: Windows Vista

Just because your high school graduate is off to school doesn't mean either of you needs to be lonesome for the other, even though hundred of miles may separate you. Today's technology lets you and your college-age child stay in close contact with each other. The Sunday night phone call is no longer the norm for many students and their parents. Instead, parents are touching base with their teens more regularly – in some cases daily – through cell phone calls, emails and instant messages.

Here are some tips for staying closely in touch with your child even when you're miles apart:

Cell phones

Cell phones are a great way to make frequent contact, because neither of you has to be home to have a conversation. Often, it's cheapest to go for a family plan that allows you to pay for two cell phones in one package – and you can pay extra for more phones, if needed. Family plans, which start at $60 or $70, usually provide a designated number of free minutes you can share. You can also pay more for packages that allow you and your child to send a certain number of text messages.

Most providers have national calling plans that don't charge roaming fees and allow you to make unlimited calls on nights and weekends without deducting time from your free pool of minutes. And many companies, including Verizon and Sprint, allow you to make unlimited calls to people in the same network, so your calls to each other won't count toward your minutes.
You can also opt to limit your child's minutes and cut your teen off after that limit is reached.

Some companies also offer monitoring services, including Verizon's Chaperone Program, which allows you to locate your child's phone (as long as it's on) from your own handset or computer. But consider this: Do you really want to know if your child is at that frat party instead of the library? And does your teen consider it an invasion of privacy? The service might be more appropriate for a younger child.

Also, check to see if the college has negotiated its own cut-rate deal for students. Some schools, including Mercer University in Georgia, are even requiring students to pay for cell phones through the colleges, so students don't need their own phones.

The wonders of email

You're up at 7 a.m. and ready for an early morning chat, but you suspect your child is sleeping off a late-night cram session, so you don't want to call. Your schedule may not exactly mesh with your child's anymore.

Sending emails back and forth allows you and your child to communicate at the times that are most convenient for the two of you, even if it means your college kid may not get around to answering your email until 3 a.m.

Some parents and kids find they get along better by email than by phone. (You may discover that your child actually reveals more through the written word than the spoken one.)

Get in front of them

If your teen isn't all that great about responding to regular emails, send an instant message. It would be pretty hard for your kid to ignore that little pop-up instant messaging window that appears on the screen.

Instant messaging allows you and your child to type messages to each other in real time on your computers or cell phones. Even if you have different e-mail providers, you can both sign up for free instant messaging through services such as American Online Instant Messenger, Windows Live Messenger and Yahoo! Messenger. Programs such as Adium allow you to communicate between instant messaging services.

Face-to-face communication, sort of

Internet portals such as Yahoo and American Online offer video with their instant messaging services, allowing people to make free worldwide PC to PC calls. Or you can download free software from companies such as Skype that let you and your child have free video chats. (Watch a video explaining how to install and use Skype)

You'll need a high-speed Internet connection, a headset or microphone and speakers for sound, as well as Web cams on either end. The quality of the sound and images will depend partly on your equipment. Web cams start as low as $30, but similar to digital cameras, the more expensive ones have more megapixels and better resolution.

Snail mail

All the latest technology is wonderful, but don't forget to send old-fashioned letters and care packages. Send a box full of toiletries, a favorite magazine, a phone card (in case your kid needs to call you when the cell phone is dead), and some homemade cookies. Tuck in a hand-written note and a picture of the family.

As the day of departure looms, it might help to set up a plan for how you will keep in touch. Keep in mind: cell phones and computers may allow you to make constant contact, but that doesn't mean you should. Give your kid some space and resist the urge to intrude too often. It might be best to let your child initiate calls most of the time.

If you detect your teen is a bit homesick, sometimes all it takes is a few words from you to make your youngster feel connected again. Send an email -- even if it's about something mundane at home -- like the flowers you planted that day or the neighbor's new dog. Call after a sibling makes the swim team. Instant message with a "Good luck" an hour before you know your child will take a crucial exam. And send the occasional text message that simply says: "I'm thinking of you."